


the bittersweet between my teeth

by rustywrites



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Sadstuck, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-27 23:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustywrites/pseuds/rustywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three years but it feels so much longer than that. It feels like you've had some giant part of your life amputated out, torn away and put on display in a museum somewhere. Very far away. Five dollar fee for the audio tour of one teenaged boys fucked up life outside of paradox space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the bittersweet between my teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Weird (vaguely lyrical?) 20 minute prose drabble. Assumes a lot about the nature of sprites and of the yard. Sadstucks. Sad Johns.

It's been three years but it feels so much longer than that. It feels like you've had some giant part of your life amputated out, torn away and put on display in a museum somewhere. Very far away. Five dollar fee for the audio tour of one teenaged boys fucked up life outside of paradox space.

You've kept yourself company in the empty places where the familiarity used to be. It feels rude at first because you're not alone but they all understand, too. They know. The fifth time you boot up your computer; try and fail to get online you curse and yell and throw it so hard it breaks against the floor of the ship like an old habit. Jade's eyes get soft and sad and she rubs your back in soothing little circles that don't really sooth anything but you appreciate the effort anyway. A long, long time ago.

You run out of words for all of the things that you miss. They bleed together into amorphous shapes that sit heavy in the pit of your stomach. House bed dad schoolbooksmovieshotmealsfriendsfriendsfriends. Keep it together. Be the leader. Be the hero. But god damnit you're just a kid and you don't want to play anymore.

Davesprite tries to play his part and adapt to his role but you can tell it's hard for him. He knows as well as you do that he both is and isn't your best friend. Abstraction. Construct. Omnipotent programing layered with memories that may or may not have ever happened. Alternate timeline salad. It's better than nothing, though, because when you talk he listens and jokes and makes you laugh even though it gets harder and harder.

His skin isn't really skin and feels like television static. When he kisses you it almost stings and when you pull away he looks a million miles away. He's been fading slowly the further you get from your old session like there's some kind of magnet holding him back atom by tiny atom. No sprites in new sessions.

He speaks like an echo. He never says it but it sounds like goodbye.

TG: say hi to everyone for me and tell dave ill kick his ass if he doesnt man the fuck up and tell you how he feels  
TG: stop looking so sad egbert youre almost there  
TG: this is what youve been waiting for  
TG: itll be worth it i promise

Before you have a chance to speak, he's gone and the rest of you are together, alone, rocketing through the yard at light speed. Almost there. Almost home.


End file.
